hope

Screenshot from Tumbl, by @brightwanderer "I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success. Like... if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage. The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things. I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success... I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all."

“Forever” is a poor metric

December 16, 2025
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brightwanderer on Tumblr I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned… Read More »“Forever” is a poor metric

About a dozen people are standing in front of a huge aquarium, which is basically a whole wall of blue with large fish swimming past in it. You can only make out the silhouettes of the people, dark against the luminous blue background. A couple of them are filming on their phones, mirroring the deep blue of the tank.

Community is strength #2

August 11, 2025August 18, 2025
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Adrianna Tan, who I follow on Mastodon, posted something today that I want to remember.… Read More »Community is strength #2

A 2x2 matrix of discomfort x interest, but each quadrant is further divided into 2. Low discomfort + low interest: apathy / restore Low discomfort + high interest: plateau / flow High discomfort + low interest: resentment / grit High discomfort + high interest: burn out / growth

Reading 4

July 20, 2025July 24, 2025
Reading

This week’s 12 links: My time to read: 1 hour 15 minutes Credit: Stewarding Loss… Read More »Reading 4

A small plant is sprouting 4 green leaves in between a bunch of rusted rebar.

Choosing active hope

May 31, 2025June 8, 2025
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I have been reading and processing a lot of material about dying and grief, as… Read More »Choosing active hope