personal growth

A photo darkroom illuminated by red light, with the equipment and trays of chemicals laid out neatly on a table.

2025 goals in review

December 27, 2025December 27, 2025
New stuff

During the 2024 winter break I did some reviewing of what’s important to me and… Read More »2025 goals in review

Screenshot from Tumbl, by @brightwanderer "I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success. Like... if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage. The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things. I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success... I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all."

“Forever” is a poor metric

December 16, 2025
New stuff

brightwanderer on Tumblr I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned… Read More »“Forever” is a poor metric

A 2x2 matrix of discomfort x interest, but each quadrant is further divided into 2. Low discomfort + low interest: apathy / restore Low discomfort + high interest: plateau / flow High discomfort + low interest: resentment / grit High discomfort + high interest: burn out / growth

Reading 4

July 20, 2025July 24, 2025
Reading

This week’s 12 links: My time to read: 1 hour 15 minutes Credit: Stewarding Loss… Read More »Reading 4

A small plant is sprouting 4 green leaves in between a bunch of rusted rebar.

Choosing active hope

May 31, 2025June 8, 2025
New stuff

I have been reading and processing a lot of material about dying and grief, as… Read More »Choosing active hope

The entrance of a subway, underground, or metro tunnel. To the left of the shot, a wall tiled in very functional pale yellow rectangular tiles, with a fire extinguisher and signage. At the edge of the wall and above the end of the platform, a round alert sign sticks out, showing a person standing arms open inside a red circle on a yellow background. It means "no access". Behind the sign and to the right of the platform, the tunnel is nothing but darkness.

Coming out about grief

May 21, 2025June 9, 2025
New stuff

Having had a little less work this month after the end of the massive 6… Read More »Coming out about grief

Lego astonaut on a Lego moon vehicle holding a walkie talkie, on a windowsill

The three quarter point is a thing

May 8, 2020August 31, 2024
Archive (old posts)

(Originally published on Medium.) I wrote a post about the feeling of frustration and pointlessness… Read More »The three quarter point is a thing

Two pencils on a yellow background

So much

October 25, 2019August 31, 2024
Archive (old posts)

(Originally published on Medium.) There’s so much to do in the world. There will always… Read More »So much